James Toney headed BACK INTO THE CAGE!

IBA Heavyweight Champion and previous IBF Middleweight, Super Middleweight and Cruiserweight Champion James  'Lights Out' Toney  is headed back into the Octagon for a match against UFC Hall of Famer,and previous WMMAA Champion;Pride Grand Prix Winner; UFC Heavyweight Champion; and King of Pancrase, 'The World's Most Dangerous Man' Ken Shamrock

Scheduled to be on September 23rd or October 1st in El Paso Texas, this will be Toney's second MMA fight after getting annihilated by UFC Hall of Famer, and five-time UFC Champion (3x Heavyweight,2x Light Heavyweight), Randy 'The Natural' Couture.

The above fight was over in under one round, without even throwing a single punch, Couture (a former Olympic Alternate for Greco-Roman Wrestling), took down Toney to the ground and proceeded with the ground and pound; because Toney was used to getting hit, Couture decided to end Toney's humiliation and submitted him with an arm triangle.
Toney knew nothing about takedown defence or sprawling and did not even know how to bridge,shrimp or 'buck' to get back on his feet.

Both Yahoo! and ESPN report that the match with Shamrock will have a special format; the former said one round will be stand-up fighting only and another will be MMA (third round not stated), but the latter stated that the entire match will be MMA but with a 30 second time limit for staying on the ground.

As per usual, Toney begins to trash talk MMA,Couture and other boxers

"All these boxers, they're scared to fight me; so I'm going back to MMA to get a fight.
"Everyone knows I had problems going into the Randy Couture fight, but the mother f****r never came to fight anyhow. He scored that bullshit takedown. That will never happen again. We offered Randy more money for a rematch and he said no. But Shamrock; he'll come to fight - I hope, anyway!
"All I know is he's down as a legend in MMA, but that stuff don't mean anything to me. Boxing is a real sport. You have to be retired for five years before you can go in to The Hall of Fame in boxing. In this sport and in wrestling, they put you in straight away and that's bullshit. There will be no wrestling in this fight; this will be real combat.
"I know I'll knock him out. Trust me." 

With regards to returning to MMA after his IBA title defence, Toney states that it is because top-level boxers are afraid of losing their titles to him,

"These guys are clowns. You've got David "Gaye" and Wladimir "Bitschko," who are gonna earn millions all because Gaye can talk trash. They call him a great trash-talker, but I'm the best trash-talker on the planet!
"[Haye] did some shit with a T-shirt and he talked his way into a million dollar fight. That's nothing - I called Klitschko's mom a b**ch and his sister too, and they don't wanna fight me. How come? I did everything I could to get those two sisters into the ring."

No matter the result of this match, it will prove little in the 'Boxing vs MMA' debate:

Fans of the former will state that a boxer is a faster,fitter and stronger athlete who will have more than enough time to land a knockout punch before the takedown. They will also say previous examples of boxers losing in MMA are 'has-beens' (which you COULD say is true for Toney-he only holds the IBA Heavyweight title-the WBA,WBC,WBO and IBF are more prestigious and to be undisputed or a 'true' champion, you need to win and hold at least 3 of these). They will state Ray Mercer vs Tim Sylvia as an example of the boxer winning. They will also state the boxer has won 8 of 14 bouts against an MMA fighter.

Fans of the latter will say that the boxers one-dimensional striking is no match for the takedowns and immobilisation in Wrestling,Judo,Sambo and Gracie Jiu Jitsu or the leg-shattering kicks from Muay Thai. In case Shamrock loses, they will say he's old and far past his prime (he left MMA for professional wrestling with a  23-5-2 record; since returning to MMA he won 5 matches and lost 10). They will state Gene Labell vs Milo Savage or Antonio Inoki vs Muhammed Ali as examples of MMA dominating boxing.

Perhaps if Toney wins, he can fight some more stepping-stone fighters to become big in MMA? If he loses, it would be good to see him fight MMA fighters famous for their non-MMA talents e.g. Mariusz Pudzianowski (5x World's Strongest Man) or Bobby Lashley (Professional Wrestler with 2x NAIA National Wrestling Championships in Amateur Wrestling). Heck, he'd be a good fight for Batista or Kimbo Slice since their contracts fell through and the fans love them!

Crystal Harris-The Runaway Bride

Legendary polygamist and American Icon, Hugh Hefner has been dumped, five days before his wedding!

The Playboy King,85, and former fiancé Crystal Harris,25, were set to be wed on June 18th but Crystal put a stop to it after a reported 'change of heart' after a 'heated argument'.

"After much deep reflection and thought I have decided to end my engagement with Hef," Harris said in a statement on her website, adding "I have the utmost respect for Hef and wish him the best going forward."

She gave her Little Mermaid diamond engagement ring back to Hef and stated 'things were going too fast' when it came to a wedding six months after the engagement and being  televised.

Hefner,reportedly in shock, gave this amusing statement "Since we're not getting married on Saturday, I've schedule a movie: Runaway Bride. Seems appropriate." As well as this, all July Playboy magazines featuring Ms.Harris as 'Mrs Crystal Hefner' have now had a sticker slapped on to the cover:

It is a shame this has happened, Hefner has been dating Harris since 2009 and became a one-woman-man later that year. All the Playmate-initiation orgies had stopped and, like in the 90s (when Hefner was married to Playmate Kimberley Conrad), Playboy was becoming a reputable name where celebrities such as: Charlize Theron,Drew Barrymore,Sharon Stone,The Baywatch Girls and Marge Simpson  posed in it and there were articles and interviews with reputable names such as Ian Fleming,Martin Luther King,Malcolm X,Richard Branson and Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

It was so well received that people began to differentiate between its artistic nudity in its magazine and the pornography shown on its TV channel and website, as well as its adult competitors like Hustler (the most hardcore,explicit and trashy company in the world). In fact, children's TV shows such as The Simpsons, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and WWE referenced it, knowing that it is really not that bad!

Unfortunately, as seen after Hefner's divorce from previous wives, Mildred Williams (wife of 10 years and father to Christie,59 and and David,56) and Kimberley Conrad (wife of 20 years and 9 years pre-separation, father to Marston, 21 and Cooper,20), Hefner will most likely go back to his swinging and 3 to 7 woman polygamy lifestyle. It is a shame because had this marriage gone through, it would have shown that love conquers sex and Playboy, like in the 90s), was really not that bad or degrading as once thought.

Dark Knight Rises, The Hobbit and Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Films Destined to Fail?

In 2012 there will be three films that are already so hyped, it is quite likely they will fail miserably.

Sure, they will make the moolah at the box office and first-time viewers will enjoy them (see: Star Wars Episode I and II, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Rocky VI and Rambo IV, and Superman Returns), but are not a patch on the originals!

Why is this? Perhaps the originals set a benchmark, or perhaps that after 9/11, most movies sucked. All that is known is that there is a lot of expectations for the above three movies.
Perhaps if they keep the advertising and merchandising low-key, they may come out with better-than-expected reviews due to less hype e.g. Terminator: Salvation, Slumdog Millionaire, The Expendables, and Quantum of Solace (yes, Casino Royale SUCKED).

Here are the three films expected and why they are likely going to fail

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

An example of the sequel (in this case the series) doing better than the prequel (the movie). As cheesey as the first movie was, Kristy Swanson was just as good a Buffy as Sarah Michelle Gellar; whereas Gellar showed how a pretty young girl has the world on her shoulders and how she becomes a strong;grown up woman, Swanson showed Buffy's early years as the stereotypical Valley Girl and how she changed from a carefree teen to a literal superwoman. Both actresses could show the civilian and super Buffy but Gellar had much more time to show it.
The main problem with the upcoming film is that it is a remake of the original, this means there will be no Scoobies such as: geeky but witty Xander, cute nerd-turned lesbian witch Willow, handsome and sophisticated Giles, or badass love interest Spike. More importantly, it will be a remake of the tongue-in-cheek film which, when watched after a few episodes in the series, is really not that bad (heck, it shows Buffy's early life as a normal young girl).

The most important factor with this movie is that they are still undecided who to cast as Buffy- should it be Glee star Heather Morris?

Or Vampire Diaries star Candice Accola?

Considering Candice has already played a part in a vampire-based show, it will more likely (and deservedley) be Morris.

There is one fact that remains true when it comes to the Buffyverse- it has gotten a LOT more popular since the release of Twilight (which post-pubescant girls and most men know is a lame rip-off from the Buffy/Angel story and is much dumber e.g. sparkling vampires).

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and There and Back Again

Nine years after the final Lord of the Rings movie, Return of the King, Peter Jackson is directing the prequel, The Hobbit. Now, the book was better than The Lord of the Rings but for the general public, it will not have enough action in it in comparison to: the Mines of Moria, the 300 men and 100 elves vs 10,000 Uruk Hai at Helms Deep, or the 3000-10,000 Men vs 100,000+ Orcs at Pelennor. The first movie in particular will have much more adventure than action and the second will only have one epic battle.

For those that have read The Hobbit, it will be strange seeing Orlando Bloom and Elijah Wood in this movie since their characters (Legolas and Frodo) were never in it! It also seems like the wrong choice to have Mikael Persbrandt as rug-wearing,bearded hunter Beorn-surely Gerard Butler would make a more obvious choice? What about Brian Blessed?! He may not have the physique but he surely has the voice and rugged looks for it!

Dark Knight Rises

Now this film is surely going to fail-not only will legendary psychotic,homicidal,sadistic (and most likely necrophiliac) Joker not be in it (due to Heath Ledger losing his life conveniently going a bit loopy rehearsing to be a real-life version of him); but the Riddler will not be the villain (such wasted potential). What we have instead are steroid-abusing,bodybuilding and cage-fighting Bane and the killer known as Holiday, an ex-mafia marksman. Okay, the Batman Begins and Dark Knight films are based on Batman in a realistic manner but surely The Riddler would be a great villain?! Maybe the should have introduced Poison Ivy-a female terrorist or assasin who specialises in biological poisoning!

Another annoying thing will be that this will be the final Nolan Batman film, and, apart from using the more lame villains, there will be NO Robin! Batman without Robin will be like macaroni without cheese-sure it will be good but the cheese makes it so much better!

Well, there is always Anne Hathaway who would make an ok Catwoman, she's more the 'girl next door type' though-Catwoman should be someone oozing sexiness that makes all the men want to watch this movie e.g. 

Kim Kardashian

It may help clear her name as a celebutant that is *trying* to repent for the release of that tape (even though she's making it harder for herself posing for men's magazines including Playboy). The problem is that Kim's acting skills are not up to scratch for a sequel to a movie that won Oscars!

Perhaps amazing French-Canadian playmate and WWE Diva Maryse Ouellet?

She is both beautiful and powerful (not only is she a WWE diva but she knows karate and judo).The main issue is that she does not seem to know enough English to be an actress in Hollywood!


Perhaps a cougar is better for Catwoman, who better than...

Kim Catrall-the definition of 'getting better with age' (she's in her FIFTIES and hotter than most women in their 30's!)





            

Moustaches-Man's Greatest Idea

Hey there readers! It's time for one of Feet Up's more 'quirky' articles. Today, it's a tribute to the greatest idea thought of by man-THE MOUSTACHE!

When one sees a moustache, many people think 'loser' because it's not as full as a beard; however, ladies love the stubble and more than stubble, they love the idea of a moustache! Moustaches look clean and tidy compared to beards which seem dirty and like they may be hiding someone's ugliness! Not to mention moustaches draw the line between meterosexual stubble and the lazy man's beard (which is not necessarily manly)!

Still not convinced? See below how all the WINNERS of this world happen to be people sporting the 'stache. and NO, Chuck Norris was only awesome when he either had a beard or clean shaven; he was just average with it (Chuck Norris being average is still >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>the rest of the world in terms of awesomeness)!


20 .Billy Dee Williams 

Lando Calrissian from Star Wars! Han Solo was so awesome that Lucasfilm decided to introduce a black version of Han Solo in the sequel! A true charmer, "Hello, what do we have here?" and "You truly deserve to be with us amongst the clouds"-if Han wasn't there he'd snap Leia up in an instant!


19. Dr Phil

The man says it like it is. Everyone remembers him for his voice, humour and moustache!

18. John Cleese

One of the great British comedians! Always ecstatic and loud! Came to fame in Fawlty Towers and had a stint as the new Q in James Bond (rightfully seen as R in memoriam to Q).


17. Freddy Mercury

Lead singer for Queen. Even queerer than Mr Slave and Big Gay Al but still seen as awesome for his power ballads.


16. Teddy Roosevelt

The 26th President of the U.S of A, Roosevelt was the first American to win the Nobel Peace prize after negotiating peace between Russia and Japan when they were at war in 1904 and 1905. He was also responsible for deploying the Great White Fleet between 1907 and 1909; 16 navy battleships split into two squadrons to travel the globe,visit various harbours of the world and show that the USA was a peaceful but powerful navy. As well as this he pushed for the conservation movement in America (to conserve the environment) and was the driving force between the Panama Canal; a canal built in 1914 that links North and South America and makes ship-to-ship crossing that much easier.

15. Lemmy Kilmister

Legendary singer for legendary rock and metal (so awesome it covers two genres) band, Motorhead. Famous for his voice,performances,moustache and (eww) facial warts.


14. The Biker from Village People

One of the few straight guys in the Village People. Enough said.

13. Walter Cronkite

American anchorman with distinct voice and catchphrase "and that's the way it is". In his prime (in the 60's and 70's as CBS Evening anchor) he was often cited as 'The Most Trusted Man in America' due to coverage of important events in American history such as: World War II,the Vietnam War,JFK's assassination,Watergate,the Iran Hostage Crises and of course, the Moon Landings.




12. Paul Teutul

Badass biker from American Chopper who, with his sons, shows life as a motorbike repairman and enthusiast. The moustache makes him what he is!

11.Lord Kitchener

Aside from motivating British men to join the battle against Germany and Austria-Hungary in World War I, Lord Kitchener was famous for ensuring British victory against, and control over, Sudan (during colonial years) in the Battle of Omdurman (1898). Between 1900 and 1902, he played a key role in acquiring South Africa in the second Boer War and between 1902 and 1909,he was commander in chief of the British-Indian Army.

10. Albert Einstein

The man that created  E=MC2 ;the fact that nothing can go faster than light (Special Relativity) and how space and time are one (General Relativity).

9. Mahatma Gahndi

Gandhi was a hero to India-through his efforts, India became independant from the British. He did it in the most unique way; 'ahimsa' aka non-violence. Gandhi helped India become free in 1947, after approximately 200 years of British rule. As well as marching and hunger strikes,Gandhi believed that ahimsa could be maximised if the majority of the nation stood together and 'contributed' toward independance by not paying its taxes or importing products from Britain if they were made much cheaper in India.

8. Martin Luther King Jnr.

Following Rosa Parks' arrest in 1955 for refusing to surrender her bus seat to a white person, King told other coloured people to follow suit and, in 1963, he and many others marched to Washington and delivered his "I have a dream" speech to end racism and discrimination in America.

7. Carl Weathers

Originally a player for American Football teams Oakland Raiders and and (Canadian) BC Lions, Weathers Starred alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator as that 'SON OF A B*TCH' Dillon. More prominently, Weathers played Boxing Champion of the World Apollo Creed in Rocky I-IV. Great persona and attitude in both movies as well as awesome physique. Fun fact: Weathers wanted to reprise his role in Rocky Balboa even though his character was dead; when Sly refused, Weathers did not allow the use of his image in the movie. Sly still wants him for Expendables II.

6. Walt Disney

The genius behind Disney, the theme park and cartoon characters such as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Pluto and Goofy. Today,The Walt Disney Company has an income of over $35 billion a year!

5. Richard Roundtree

Smooth talking, funky ladies man Shaft was the private detective of America that was officially described as "Hotter than Bond, cooler than Bullitt"

4. Hulk Hogan

Hey Brother! Hulk Hogan is in at number 4 as the man who took pro wrestling to another level! Before Hogan there were wrestlers such as George Hackenschmidt,Karl Gotch, and Antonio Inoki who may have had technical skills and could pull off great moves. Hogan however, was the first to use his charisma to put pro wrestling on the map. A giant of a man, Hogan was a nationalist for America and was seen a hero by all the kids, especially with his motto of "Train,say your prayers and eat your vitamins" He was one of the few who could get a crowd going crazy!
Hogan's moustache defines the Hulkster!

3. Ned Flanders

Stupid sexy Flanders! Religious,friendly and rich, Ned Flanders is the perfect gentleman. In fact, he's so awesome that Homer Simpson used to hate him out of jealousy. The only thing that may annoy people about Ned is that he's too into his Bible studies and only lets Rod and Todd have fun if it's based on religion (well that and his gibberish talk-a-roonies).

2. Burt Reynolds

 Suave, handsome and manly, Burt has appeared in many movies including, Smokey and the Bandit, Deliverance, White Lightning, Gator and Cannonball Run. He has been in over 90 feature films and 300 TV episodes. Epic WIN!!!!!

1. Don Frye

The original Brock Lesnar! Don Frye began Amateur Wrestling for Arizona State University at the age of 19 and when he was 22, he won both the Greco-Roman and Freestyle Olympic Qualifiers.With NCAA Division I wrestling experience, a 1-1-0 professional boxing record and a 2nd dan black belt in Judo, Frye fought in MMA and started things off with UFC 8. After winning three fights in one night (all via knockout in under the first minute),Frye won UFC 8; he has since won UFC 9,reached the finals of UFC 10,and fought for Pride, K1 Hero's and the IFL. Frye's MMA record was 20-8-1 with 7 knockouts and 11 submissions!

Frye went to Professional Wrestling under NJPW between 1997 and 2001 but returned in 2002,2003,2004,2005,2007 and 2008 for one-off appearances no more than three times a year.

The Gold Standard

Tom Selleck

You didn't think that was the end of it did you? Don Frye may be number 1 but that was only Feet Up's number 1; other websites and magazines may think differently. However, everyone can agree than Tom Selleck is the true king of the 'stache.

Brought into fame for his role on Magnum PI, Tom has become famous for other roles such as Jesse Stone, Three Men and a Baby and Three Men and a Little Lady, and of course, Dr Richard Burke on Friends. Many people agree that Monica should've been with Richard rather than Chandler-Monica and Chandler was too random a relationship compared to Richard, a well qualified stud who should've been with Monica since every fat girl wishes to be with the perfect guy. Is that right or is that right?!
Expect to see Tom return to the Silver Screen in the movie Three Men and a Bride in 2012-no, we're serious